thriving tita

“I’m crushed beneath the weight of all the lives I’ll never live” (The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath)

I spent a long time mourning the life I had planned to live. For most of my youth, I had believed that my 30s was for me to be someone’s wife and some kid’s mom, living in some house in some quaint neighborhood. This was *the plan* of how I turn into the person I thought I was meant to be.

When that one did not pan out, I was overwhelmed with having to start over. I now had a plethora of plans that were ripe for the picking. If I take too long to decide, they’d wrinkle and rot. If I do it in a haste, then I might waste more of my time. I was terrified of being haunted by what-ifs and going down a path that felt less meaningful than the original path that I was on.

Inevitably, I got tired of life in fear of living. I’m free! Free from the pressure of getting married, of raising children, or climbing the corporate ladder. I am free of having to prove myself and my worth. I am free to fall in love and leave any relationship that ruins my peace. I’m free to explore new things, free to revisit forgotten ones, and free to stay where I feel comfortable. I’m free to try every single thing that captures my interest, pursue hobbies that makes me feel fulfilled, and free to spend my time on things that make me feel alive in the truest sense of the word.

And in the midst of the uncertainty that comes with freedom, I thrived. ✨

‘thriving tita’ is for the sad girls living life to the fullest, however they may define it.

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