on cloud nine
on cloud nine
on cloud nine

on cloud nine

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on cloud nine smells like I‘m not that sad after all

scent notes chamomile / honey / lavender / lilac / orange blossom
scent profile floral / fresh
release date Jun/19/2022, 10 AM (Manila Time)

candle details 

ingredients coconut wax, soy wax, 10% phthalate-free fragrance oils
℮ 6 oz wick: eco wick
burn time: 30 hours
scent strength (chandler's perception): subtle, best as a desk candle or  small rooms
℮ 9.5 oz wick: triple-ply wooden wick
burn time: 50 hours
scent strength (chandler's perception): medium, best for small to medium rooms
℮ 13 oz wicktriple eco wicks
burn time
70 hours
scent strength (chandler's perception)
medium, best for small to medium rooms

sad girl story

I used to travel to escape my life. Leaving was the primary goal, and exploring only came a close second.

I booked flights whenever I got fed up with adult responsibilities. A client sent a nasty email at 7 AM on a Monday, so I bitch about it to my best friend while we get drunk in Bali. I was looking at flights to Taipei the morning after hanging out with the dude-I-was-dating's friends who liked making jokes about him and his ex all the time ("ganun lang talaga sila" even if I always said it made me uncomfortable). I flew my family to Seoul instead of going to therapy and dealing with unmanaged grief after losing our mom. I went on a breakup tour where I cried and tried to make sense of it all.

Away from "my life", I've always felt like I was someone better. Someone more interesting. Someone who had fun. Someone less miserable.

But this year, I started traveling as often as I used to. And I found that I didn't even need to pretend that I was having a good time. I was having an amazing time. I wasn't running away from anything and being my own company no longer feels defeating.

Everywhere I went, there I was. And I finally liked the person looking back at me in the mirror, regardless if I’m on vacation or at home in my pajamas.

If I’m being completely honest, trauma aside, life as a single woman in her 30s has been objectively better.

I have time to pursue my interests. There is no one to trigger anxiety attacks whenever I think that they’re potentially lying to my face. No one is around to minimize my achievements or make me question my worth. I spend my money on gifts for me, my pets, and my loved ones. The people I surround myself with love me the way I have always needed to be loved. My cup is full. I can finally sleep through the night. And I have been able to find out who I am, what I want out of life, and what I stand for - without taking into account a partner's interests. Most days, I wake up grateful for this hard-won peace that crept in without me noticing.

‘on cloud nine' is for the sad girls who have found happiness in their solitude.