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never enough

never enough

'never enough' smells like the eldest daughter

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Regular price ₱1,300.00
Regular price Sale price ₱1,300.00
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scent notes calamansi / daffodils / lime blossom / sugar cane / yuzu
scent profile citrus / fresh
scent strength medium
release date July/8/2024, 8 PM (Manila Time)

sad girl story

My mom caught me dating behind her back in high school. It was the first time she told me that whenever I make any decision, I do it three times: the first for myself, and the latter for my siblings who will follow in my footsteps. So I never took detours from the safest route and made sure to clear the path for them too.

I was fresh out of college when my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I took over managing the household, keeping track of my mom's palliative care, showing up for my siblings, noting every peso spent, and chipping in my own money to keep us afloat.

I got the news through three short words via text. I didn't have time to grieve—I just hit the ground running. I dealt with her funeral and everything that came with it. At 24, I didn’t know life without my mom. I was in a mess of relief, grief.. guilt over feeling relief that mom no longer had to suffer, and we could finally live a day without watching her die right in front of our eyes.

Not only did my mom have the audacity to die, the other parent I was supposed to rely on was missing. During the years that followed, I felt like I was sitting with my back against a cliff, making sure no one else fell while I struggled to maintain my balance. Falling off is not an option.

At the peak of my resentment, I’ve always wondered where I would be if my mom had never died. I love my siblings and don’t regret the choices I made, but I think I’ll always wonder how I would have turned out if I didn’t have to take on that responsibility.

I proceeded to date boys with moms who asked me to take care of them, to make sure they grew into men. I found myself feeling stuck in relationships where I didn't feel like a partner—am I just another mother?

I persist, persist, persist. Yet I can't seem to shake off the shackles of the curse of being the eldest daughter: ever so reliable, never fully free.

Sometimes, I'd have conversations with people about having kids. But it feels like I haven’t had the time to function as an adult without taking care of someone. I am my mother's legacy, a sister to rely on in emergencies... but who's gonna take care of me?

'never enough' is for the sad girls and all their pent-up rage

candle details

ingredients

coconut wax, soy wax, 10% phthalate-free fragrance oils
℮ 6 oz wick: eco wick
burn time: 30 hours
℮ 9 oz wick: triple-ply wooden wick
burn time: 50 hours
℮ 13 oz wicktriple eco wicks
burn time
70 hours

scent strength guide

subtle best as a desk candle or small rooms
medium best for small to medium rooms
strong best for medium to large rooms

eau de toilette / perfume oil details

eau de toilette
ingredients coconut oil, denatured ethyl alcohol, distilled water, tonalid, dipropylene glycol, phthalate-free fragrance oils
longevity 3-4 hours
shelf life 2 years upon opening

perfume oil

ingredients jojoba oil, phthalate-free fragrance oils
longevity 3-6 hours
shelf life up to 12 months upon opening

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