isa pa, last na (bargaining)

*365 days after love*

This planet has orbited the whole way around the sun and we’re back where this entire thing started. Well.. ended.

The longer we’re apart, the more we’ve changed in ways we both do not know. And now, you have probably grown into someone unfamiliar. I knew you when we were young when everything was simple, and our love was pure without life’s nuances and complexities. Even if growth is a good thing, the idea of you being a stranger to me weirdly hurts.

I wonder if you remembered how this day went a year ago. Pandemic and lockdown aside, it’s just.. such a different place.

You have a pattern of taking two years off relationships to move on. By next year, maybe if you’re still up for it, I’ll be up for it too. We can go grab coffee, then have chicken for lunch. Maybe watch a movie and share dessert before having dinner. Maybe we can see if we’ve both healed enough to give whatever we had one more go.

But I hold no hopes against it. I know you, at least all the versions of who you were when we were still together. And most probably by this time next year, you have already let us go. And by then, there would be no butterflies when our eyes meet, no catching up over warm coffee, no ice cream before dinner, and no more hesitance when parting ways.

No matter how much I know we’ve kinda moved on – just the thought of someday seeing you happy with someone new breaks my heart a little bit. Maybe more than a little bit. I know it’s selfish - when I was the one who gave you the freedom to do so.

I genuinely do wish you happiness. You were my best friend for ten years, and I’ve loved you even beyond that. I will always hope that you receive everything good life has to offer.

I guess.. it just sucks that we didn’t learn how to work things out.

I wish we did.

I really truly wish we did.

'isa pa, last na' is for the sad girls after realizing that time is a one-way street.

scent strength guide