dear past me

Dear past me,

I'm unsure of what you would feel if you can see how your future life is right now.

You've bought all the things your mom would never buy you because "ang mahal naman niyan". You can now afford to eat in restaurants you only used to think of. You have gone to places you only used to dream about. You don't have to worry about rent. You're independent and free to make your own decisions. Every single reason for the excitement of growing up has been accomplished.

But somehow, I would always still feel like there's always something that's missing. Adulting is not sunshine and butterflies at all. I regret not cherishing my youth. I'm now aware of how unfair the world can be. I have responsibilities I can't shirk. The shattered pieces of my heart get smaller with each heartbreak, and it now takes longer to put it back together. I can no longer jump into things again without the fear of knowing I can fail. And somewhere along the way, I've lost the spark in my eyes that you used to have.

'dear past me' is for the sad girls wishing they can bring back the hopeful version of themselves here.

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