it was magic (acceptance)

*97 days after love*

I was 17 when we fell in love. My most vivid memory from that time is the seed from which my interest in you first bloomed.

“Love should make you a better person, a better version of yourself.”

You said that if you loved someone, you would want the best for them. This is why you would keep striving to be the best version of yourself for that person you hold dear in your heart. And I admit – while at that time, we were not in a romantic relationship yet, that statement had made my heart flutter.

I fell in love with who you were at the time, and not who I thought you could be. However, there was an immense sense of pride when your family and friends started telling me that they noticed you’ve improved ever since we got together. Because I knew you were doing it of your own accord. That the kind of love you talked about was the same kind of love you had for me - the kind that uplifts you and motivates you.

But somewhere along the way, we both got complacent.

The kind of love I thought you believed in had stopped pushing you to become your better self - and all it made me feel was that to you, I wasn't worth it. That I don't deserve the best version of you.

And maybe the kind of love I hold for you was not enough to look beyond all the hurt and understand where you were coming from. I got so stuck in my own head and my own grief that I unintentionally built a wall between us too.

In the process, we stagnated. We had stopped growing together. And we just let it happen.

I couldn’t ask you to change. You couldn’t make me understand. Instead, you stopped trying and I stopped talking. I now look back and know that we could have done a lot more - have more conversations, be more forgiving, be a lot less selfish, and just be.. kinder. To you. To me. And to our relationship.

Unfortunately, there’s no going back to our happier days. Our time together was magical. But time is a one-way street. We both had a lot of growing up to do.

And growing into who we're supposed to be can also mean growing apart.

'it was magic' is for the sad girls after learning that some things might end, but it doesn’t take away how beautiful life can still be.

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